Rob's story. Why I set up Tri Wellness: My Journey with Childhood Experiences, Overcoming Trauma and Why holistic wellbeing changed my life.

My journey has not been easy but would I have changed anything? No.

I’ve learned a lot about myself over the years, especially when it comes to overcoming the struggles of my past. Looking back, it’s hard to reconcile and fully remember the pieces of my childhood that led me to be the person I am today. But that journey has shaped me in ways I never imagined, leading me to the work I do now in wellness and breathwork (which I LOVE).

Me, Dad, Sister and Brother

As a child, my life was filled with uncertainty and fear. My mother, who struggled with alcoholism, was very physically and sexually abusive and unfortunately alcohol got the better of her, and she was not able to care for me or my siblings. Social services intervened, when I was 11 years old, I was taken away from her care. My father had to leave the family home years before due to the abuse he was facing, which at the time was very hard for me to understand why he'd left us but as I have got older, I can acknowledge the fear and potential harm it could have led to, if he'd stayed. I understand his decision at the time.

After social services took us from our mother, I was forced to sleep on my dad’s bedroom floor in a cramped, one-bedroom flat with two other siblings for four long years. My father, though loving, was struggling to run his own business, go through a very messy divorce and be there for three children. His goal was simple but challenging: to eventually secure suitable housing where we could all live in peace. Although, the flat was cramped, very basic, I FELT SAFE for the first time in years.

During those years living with my mother, I experienced physical, sexual and emotional abuse, that left scars deep within me. The psychological toll of living in that environment, feeling unsafe, unwanted, and unloved, fueled the performance anxieties that began to take root in my teenage years. As I grew older, these anxieties followed me into adulthood. I was constantly fearful of being abandoned—whether it was by friends, family, or romantic partners. My low self-esteem made me believe that I was unworthy of love, and this led to strained relationships that were often self-sabotaged out of a lack of trust and fear.

I lived with these struggles for years, holding on to the beliefs I had created about myself in the chaos of my childhood.

It wasn’t until I met a woman, my now wife, who challenged me to seek support, see what she saw in me and love myself more, that It all changed. As I said in my vows 'Sometimes people come into your life, exactly when you need them most'.

I sought psychological support that I began to truly understand the roots of my anxiety. Therapy helped me uncover the painful truths of my past and the false beliefs I had created about my worth and ability to connect with others. It wasn’t easy, but with the help of amazing professionals, I started to piece together a healthier narrative about myself.

Our Wedding Day

This is where my life started to transform. My journey, started to shape. I started to like the person I am.

Since the age of 16, exercise and the gym played an essential role in managing my anxiety, offering a temporary escape and an outlet for my anxieties.

It wasn’t until I discovered breathwork that my life truly began to change. I started practicing breath control to calm my nervous system, and it was nothing short of transformative. Learning how to control my autonomic nervous system (CNS) gave me a sense of power over my own body and mind that I never thought possible.

Through breathwork, I can not only manage my anxiety but also started to experience a renewed sense of connection in myself.

I had always felt dissociated from myself and never truly present but just thought that was me. Psychology helped me understand that I had combined ADHD, which is common in individuals who have suffered sexual trauma, as during trauma, they dissociate from reality to enable a sense of safety. The diagnosis of ADHD, TOTALLY made sense now!

My libido, which had been suppressed for years due to stress and emotional pain, began to thrive as I regained control over my body’s response to stress. For the first time, I felt like I was truly in the driver’s seat of my own life.

This journey hasn’t been easy. But it has taught me that no matter where we come from or how broken we might feel, we have the ability to heal. The breath is one of the most powerful tools we have to reset, restore, and rejuvenate our bodies and minds. That’s why I am so passionate about helping others find their breath and connect with their true selves—because I know firsthand how life-changing it can be.

Winning Inspirational Man of the Year 2024 at Ladies First Awards

My mission now is to help others like me, those who’ve battled anxiety, low self-esteem, and self-doubt, find their peace through breathwork, exercise, and self-compassion. It’s not about perfection. It’s about acknowledging that we are all so imperfectly perfect and no one, should ever judge another. The other, just may need a help in hand.

All you can do in this life, is tri.